I really want my bad knees back!
by Aphaia
Summary: SG1 including Jack go out on a mission for a ancient artifact, and two members don't quite come back the same, which causes a highly uncomfortable situation for everyone. JackSam and PeteSam.
1. Chapter 1: Fishing for missions

**AN: Ok, so this is the first time -ever-, i'm writing a fanfic. Probably only time too :P But on a more serious note, this idea has been bugging me for months now, so i figured it about time to write it out (regardless of wether i'm able to write or not).  
I however, _really_ would like someone to beta read the chapters, and help me with pointers and/or some input on ideas. I'm not to good with humor either, and it's meant to be a funny story, so anyone willing to give a helping hand, lend ideas (you will most definitely get proper credit of course) and/or co-write? please! It would be very welcome :D. I have no clue how that works though, so feel free to contact me I suppose, if you're interested? Anyway some information about the story:**

**Pairing: Pete is present, and with sam, however there will be some Jack-Sam too. **

**Season : 8, definitely 8. Pete is still with Sam, and Jack is already General. I would really wish Janet was still alive, but I don't -really- want this to be AU, so i'm going to stick with the actual existing storyline. I think.  
**

**Rating: I quite honestly don't have a clue. Ermm It will probably have some mild swearing in it, and..uncomfortable situations later on that probably won't be for all ages. So..T? Or the one below that K+ I think?**

**Summary: The team goes out on a mission for a ancient artifact, and two members don't quite come back the same. It's the cause of a rather uncomfortable situation for everyone...a situation similar to one they've been in before. If only the solution were that easy this time round!**

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**Chapter 1: Fishing for missions: Jack's POV**

"I said NO Daniel."

"But Jack, Jack this is an amazing discovery! We _have_ to go, we can't just pass this up. The inscriptions on the tablet say something about a powerful device designed to make opposites see truth and reconcile, do you have any idea how useful that could be against the Goauld, or any future tribe, or race we encounter? If the device is what I think it's meant for, then we could..-"

_Ok...so I tuned him out. It's not like I wasn't going to hear all of that again at the pre-mission briefing anyway. Because we both know he's going to get his way, so why bother listening to it twice right? I just like to see how long it takes before he runs out of new arguments, or breath. Or both. That and it's fun to get him all worked up over nothing. Just don't tell him I said that, even though I can take him out in 10 different ways in a fight without -actually- hurting him...much..., he's smart. Very smart. And he'll probably come up with some way to get back at me. Big time. _

_It just so happens I was on my way to the surface, to get in the car and go straight to my cabin for a well deserved weekend of doing absolutely nothing aside from fishing. Of course right as I walked into the elevator, and the doors were about to close, Daniel hopped in to start rambling about something or another, some team or another found, on some planet or another. And of course, this was of great importance to the fate of the universe and blablabla. All I know it was something that required, according to him, immediate attention, and a mission. Today preferably. I didn't see it however. It would mean staying on base for the rest of the weekend until they were finished playing with the device. And in my opinion, something that's been there for ages can wait 3 days longer until my fishing trip is over. We were almost at my car when something he said caught my attention.._

"-..the device looks ancient, and the writings on the walls resemble -though from what it looks like, in some sort of dialect- from what we now know to be-"

"Daniel!"

_I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at him. Geez that man can ramble. He actually had the guts to glare at me and sigh -very- impatient. He was about to say something when I raised my hand gesturing him to stop before he started. I didn't like interrupting him. Ok so that not really true, but it usually prolongs his unnecessary rambling, and seeing as I was on my way for a very important, highly needed appointment with fish, I didn't want to interrupt him now. I just had a really really burning question. _

"The device is ancient?"

_He looked properly confused, and then he realized something and suddenly this big grin sprawled across his face. Damn. I just made it easier for him to 'convince' me. _

"Yes Jack, the device appears to be ancient, as I've mentioned only 5 times previously, had you listened."

"Hey! I picked up on it, or I wouldn't have asked it now would I?"

"Uhmm right. And Jack, since it's ancient, you do realize that you will have to come along to control it don't you? Having the gene and all..."

_His voice trailed off while making some random gestures with his hand in the air and his smug grin growing impossibly big. I felt like taking away some of his most precious rocks for that. Now that could be fun. I glared at him and decided to annoy him just a little bit longer. I turned and started walking towards my car again. _

"Jaaack! That means you get to come with us on a mission; you're not seriously going to pass up this opportunity are you? This device could do so much for us, just think of what it could mean for our alliances if we could make our enemies change their ways? We would no longer be in war with the Goauld, or any other threat we would encounter. It could all be solved peacefully if we can make it work. Not to mention the fact that-"

_Ok that was fun. He'd stopped speaking instantly when he realized they were walking back to the base again after getting my bag out of the car. Now Danny boy was looking very confused. I had to grin_.

"Funny Jack. Very funny."

"I thought so anyway. Briefing in 15, you go tell Carter and T."

"Wow, ok, don't have to be so over enthusiastic to get going. It takes 10 minutes alone to go to Carter's lab from here."

_Argh. I just gave him my most stern, most bad ass glare for that one (to which he didn't even flinch). He was so going to miss some good old rocks from his office on Monday. _

"Shouldn't you be getting' someplace OTHER then here?"

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**AN: Promise to make the AN's shorter next time and the story longer! I talk to much :p. Also, if you do take the time to review, i would of course naturally really appreciate that. However much I also appreciate and can see the value of constructive critisism, I would love it if people that don't like the story, don't just say 'it sucks' or anything of a sort, but actually give _constructive_ critisism, something i can work with, or explain :)  
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	2. Chapter 2: Broken briefings

**AN: Thanks so much for the reviews, I honestly hadn't expected any so soon. This chapter might be a bit..boring, but I felt the need to get some background information in. I hope I'm not digging myself any holes here though :P. Promise the pace of the story will pick up soon :). I just know I had to mention something else but I can't remember for the life of me what that was. **

**- To 7 League Boots; **I had a bit of a problem wording that. My intention isn't -exactly- altering, because i know Daniel would never do that. He's the moral knight of the group. But had I said it differently I was afraid I would give away too much, although it'll probably be obvious soon, I didn't quite want it to be obvious _that_ soon just yet. Just think of the device more as one that lets the 'enemies' see each other's point of view in an argument where they can't agree. (sort of). I hope I brought it out a bit better in this chapter, and I addressed the moral issue in the last bit, because they don't actually know yet what it does so it actually is an issue.

**- To Nikki; **I'm not too fond of Pete either; I'll try not to bash him to much though. In the end (on the show) he's still kind of a good guy, aside from some serious paranoia issues and that he doesn't want to realise Sam belongs with our beloved General O'Neill :) However for the story...err...there will be a few...uncomfortable moments, shall we say, with Pete involved. No serious bashing, but none (too) shippy.

**Also: The characters and blablabla don't belong to me, but to whoever has the privilege of annoying Sam/Jack fans to no end by writing/producing/owning Stargate and all that jazz. I think everyone knows the drill.**

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**Chapter 2 - Broken Briefings : Jacks POV **

_I looked around the table to my former team. Daniel glanced at his watch repeatedly and then continued to look pointedly at Sam. Teal'c was...well...Teal'c. Waiting patiently for someone to begin the briefing. Sam was...ignoring Daniel? She was looking expectantly at me to begin the briefing. But she was definitely ignoring Daniel. And she was definitely amused by something. Well, best begin; I'll find out soon enough what's going on, one way or the other._

"Right then, Daniel? Care to start...sometime today? Now would be good."

_I swear he was glancing at Sam pointedly again. What the hell was going on with those two? _

"Carter? Daniel? Anyone want to start explaining why exactly this device is so important that we _have_ to go now instead of _after_ my weekend off? Anyone? At all? This mille-"

"Uhm yes Sir. Well you see, the translation has not been done..._completely_. So Daniel really knows more about it at this point then I do."

_Now she was looking at him pointedly while trying to hide a grin, unsuccessfully I might add. Definitely something was going on. _

"Ok...Daniel..."

"Right, so uhmm, well, you see. The translation can't be done...entirely. All we know of the tablet SG-18 brought back from P4S-277, is that the temple, to which they haven't been to yet, is for a -"

"What? They haven't even been to that temple? Then how do you know there's a device?"

"Well, if you'd let me finish I would get to that. From the tablet we couldn't make out for who the temple exactly was, and the monument only tells of some general history about the people on the planet and the pilgrim route from the stargate to the temple. But the writing on both the tablet and the monument appear to be an old dialect in ancient. On the tablet there are references to the device, and on the monument is a picture of what we believe to be the device. The device is _most_ likely ancient, but we won't be sure until Sam can take a look at it, _if_ we can find it and it's still there. The temple and device are, according to the tablet, the...ahh... part we could translate, for striding opposites to come to an agreement in a peaceful manner."

"How can a device _make_ enemies come to a peaceful agreement?"

"Sir, we can't know that until we get to the device. I do however, from the bit we _could_ translate, think that it would somehow alter, or influence ones state of mind, making someone either less aggressive against the enemy or more open to other solutions. The tablet does say in a peaceful manner, so I doubt it would harm anyone that uses it and its intention is to avoid war."

_I had to have been blind to not notice her openly grinning at Daniel when she emphasized the 'bit we could translate'. Starting to get an idea of what was going on, I couldn't exactly pass up this opportunity to have a little fun with Daniel. Again. _

"Daniel, what happened with the tablet that you can't translate?"

_Hah! He was looking like the kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. _

"Did you _break_ it, Space Monkey?"

_Score! The shit-eating grin and use of his highly 'loved' nickname were the perfect combination for succes. He rolled his eyes and sighed deeply, rubbing his hand over his eyes as if he was developing a headache. Sam suddenly snorted being unable to hold in her laugh any longer. Even Teal'c looked amused. _

"Yes Jack, I dropped the tablet and its broken and unreadable now. Can we please move on?"

"Not so fast Danny boy, you mean to say that _you, _while always scolding me for breaking one of your precious rocks...-"

"-_Artifacts-"_

"-...Whatever. _You _dropped and _broke_ it?"

"I thought we covered that already? Don't you want to hear the rest of what was _on_ the Tablet?"

"You mean what you could decipher _before_ you broke it?"

"_Ja-ack_, do you want me to go on or not?"

"Not really, but fine. Go ahead."

_I made a little wave with my hand to let him know to continue. Ah well. Plenty of occasions to keep reminding him of it in the future. That really made my day though. I looked at Sam; she was still smiling her full blown, make-my-legs-Jello smile. Focus O'Neill. __Focus. __Right. Briefing. Still a bit annoyed Daniel was working through it twice as fast, without a doubt to prevent me from disrupting him again. I grinned. Like that would work. _

"Finally. Ok, so we don't know the exact location of the temple for sure, but SG-18 did say they saw ruins across the valley they found the monument where the tablet was on. It was just too far to reach for them in the time they had for the mission. According to them it would probably take about two days extra to get there, provided there are no obstacles on the way. I think the monument was a pointer for pilgrims that they were in the right direction. Considering both the tablet and the monument speak of pilgrims, I assume that the temple wasn't meant only for enemies of the people who lived there or enemies to the 'god' that controlled it, but also for families or others who were in an argument they couldn't resolve."

"Daniel Jackson. Why do you deem this device so important, is it not immoral to alter ones mind to accept the ideas of its opponent?"

"Well...I don't think it alters someone's mind per sé. If the device does come from the ancients, then I highly doubt that's the case. We all know how they are with interfering in cultures. I don't know how, but I think it provides a way for both enemies to see each others point of view, or to take out the aggression so the dispute can be resolved peacefully."

"Actually Daniel, I thought you said the tablet did say something about altering ones mindset? I have to agree with Teal'c, of course we can't know for sure yet until we see it, but- "

"I thought you wanted to see the device Sam? And I really don't think it would be altering, of course if it really is then that's not good, but why else would they press so hard on it being a peaceful solution? Altering someone's mind isn't very peaceful..."

_I could tell we'd be sitting here for a long time having a moral debate if I wouldn't make a quick decision about going now. Something I was not planning on doing. I could see the value of it if we managed to find it, and new technology is always a plus, even if it's not used for what it's meant for to begin with._

"Ok, so we go, and if we find it, we take it home to study. New technology can always come in handy whatever it's meant for. Not to mention that we can always have the it's bad-it's good debate _after_ we see what it _actually_ does. We don't _have_ to use it if we even find itto begin with. We leave at 1700 hours."

_I stood up to indicate the briefing was over and nodded at all of them before retreating to my office to prepare myself too. Finally a mission, I hadn't been on one in..well to long for me anyway. Daniel sure looked his old excited self again. Now just convince my replacement to take over for a couple of days longer then a fishing trip. Maybe bribery would work, although I could of course just order him to. I think I prefer bribery...extra day off maybe? Or cake? Cake always goes over well. Who doesn't like cake?_

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	3. Chapter 3: Pretty Blue circles

_**AN: Ok so I finally remembered what I wanted to mention before: I will be writing the story in several different styles, switching between first person POV's between several people, and to a more general style if possible. I really want to portrai the feelings of the characters on what will happen, as well as general feelings and happenings. But I think for the storyline it will be necessary at some point to use a more general writing style. You can't get everything from a one person POV after all, and I don't want to write the same scenes from a couple of different POV's each time. It might be confusing, so I will add who's POV (if any) it is each time in the chapter title.**_

_To Virago500: I'm not sure if I will go that far into the season, but since I firmly belief Sam had doubts about her relationship with Pete the whole time she was with him when engaged, I will try to show she was 'working' towards the decision to break it off in the actual season. It's bit more angst writing then I had intended to, but if something like this were to actually happen, it couldn't NOT have an impact on her decisions and doubts. And considering it took her 3 weeks to accept the proposal in the first place, and being so distracted by the whole thing when they do adress it on the show, I figured she's thinking about it reasonably often. But it wouldn't make good tv to bring that out all the time. This however will make her think about things._

_  
To ChappaEyebrow: Not sure how actionpacked this will be. It won't be a captured-shoot-and-run-while-saving-the-galaxy story, so a bit more talking will automatically be involved :)_

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** Chapter 3 - Pretty blue circles : Sam's POV**

_Crap. Late. I ran into the gateroom to see my entire team, even Daniel, waiting for me. I was late and Daniel was on time? That didn't forebode well. In fact, it might even mean the end of the universe as we know it. Ok maybe not, but this just didn't happen. Not to me. I was never late. Except maybe for that time that...well...never mind. Anyway, generally speaking, when all was well, I was simply not late to go on a mission. Damn Felger. _

"Sorry sir. Felger almost blew up the lab."

"I swear that guy is going to blow us all up someday for real. Are you -really- sure he should stay on the team, I mean if you didn't have doubts before...-"

"Sir. Despite the fact that he has a tendency to blow things up-"

"Yeah, yeah; I know. He's a genius. So... everyone ready to go? Got everything? Books, doohickies, baby blankies?"

_He sure was in a good mood. Happy to go on a mission? _

"Right, let's go!"

_Even after having done this for 8 years now, I still couldn't get over the miracle the stargate was. The amount of energy it took to control it, not even to mention the fact that it actually established a wormhole to someplace far away. And the event horizon, being able to see fluctuations, the way it worked...incredible. And it looked pretty. What? It does! I realized I must've been staring a bit long at the stargate while it dialed up, finally noticing Jack smirking at me. I just shrugged and walked up the ramp when I suddenly realized I forgot to let Pete know I would be gone. I guess he'd find out soon enough, I just hoped he wouldn't bother anyone here trying to find out. He should know by now I sometimes have to go on a mission unexpected. Although it wasn't exactly unexpected right now…argh. Crap. I turned around right before stepping through the stargate almost making Jack bump into me. _

"Sorry Sir. It's just..."

"Carter?"

_He looked worried. I closed my eyes, god this was awkward. I just couldn't exactly leave my...fiancé -I still couldn't quite get used to that-, I couldn't exactly leave him in the dark either. Determined to not ruin Jack's good mood, I made a quick decision._

"I'm sorry Sir, I forgot to do something. It will only take a few seconds."

"Ok...sure. See you on the other side."

_He was still looking worried at me. Feeling guilty I made sure to hurry up the control room._

"Walter, could you please phone my house and leave a message on my behalf that I had to go 'out of town' for a few days? Pete was supposed to...-"

"Of course M'am."

_Why was he looking so...miffed? It's not unusual for him to get those requests. _

"Everything alright Sgt. Davis?"

"Yes M'am, nothing to worry about. I'll leave the message as soon as possible."

_Ok…well nothing else I can d, and I had to hurry even more now. I mumbled a quick 'thanks' before running back downstairs and into the gateroom. I froze for a moment. I thought Jack said he would wait on the other side. Did that mean he heard the conversation? Oh crap, if he had. But I'm sure the technicians didn't have the intercom on...right? Or had he realized it himself? Why did it bother me so if he actually had heard it? It's not really unusual for people to leave a message to their spouses…or something, in the last minute. Walking up closer I noticed he still looked a bit worried. But he seemed to be getting his good mood back too. I sighed in relief. At least I wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore in the next couple of days. I smiled at him, when we both stood in front of the stargate. _

"Just like old times; huh Sir?"

_He grinned back at me and stepped through. Yup, he was back to being happy again. Getting out on the other side I noticed Daniel was gone. I looked at Teal'c with raised eyebrows. I didn't even have to ask the question._

"He had an allergic reaction to some plants in the near vicinity of the stargate Colonel Carter. He would wait for us a bit further away from the stargate and the cause of his reaction."

_Was he smirking? Glancing at Jack I noticed him looking even more happy. _

"Definitely like old times Carter."

_Teal'c looked at me and raised his eyebrow in question. I just smiled at him. It really was good to see him happy again and the team together. Even if it was for a short mission. I hadn't realized how much I missed this until now. How much I'd missed...the team being complete. Jack walked to the small path to lead us into the forest, over the hills and into the valley. _

"Ok, let's go find Daniel and that yellow brick road. Carter, ladies first.."

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	4. Chapter 4: Chicken chow

**AN: The story will be humorous at some point, but before that I need to show the current feelings a bit better, to make it even more awkward later. Bear with me, it won't be all about feelings the whole time :) I should get to the 'action' soon now. And Sam's issues with Pete won't be the center of the story either. **Also on a completely random note, in the search for a name for something, I wound up at the imdb site with pictures of the actor that plays Paul Davis on the show, which just made me laugh out loud. Did anyone ever see those? He doesn't look bad, it's just such a contrast to the neat Davis character. :)

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**Chapter 4 - Chicken Chow : Daniel's POV **

_After walking for almost 4 hours I was starting to feel really tired. And apparently my dosage of allergy medication needed to go up, because I had been sneezing most of the way, which only added to the growing exhaustion. Not to mention that if I wouldn't have some coffee soon, someone would end up hurt. The planet was….well...green, much to Jack's dismay. Although in reality we all knew he actually loved it. The path we'd been following was small, We couldn't walk side by side for most of the time. But about an hour ago it had gotten a bit wider. Along the sides of the path we'd cross a small clearing on the side every half an hour or so. They were probably made intentionally I realized, for the pilgrims to pause when the route was still used. Since we were used after so many years to walk long distances, we didn't really need to pause often. But the planet luckily had about as many hours in a day as Earth, and as it was a little later on this planet then on earth it was getting quite dark here. We we're just at a clearing, and I really wasn't up to walking another half an hour for the next one. I was about to suggest to Jack to call it a day and set up camp, when Teal'c did exactly that._

"O'Neill, I don't think it is wise to continue at this point. This appears to be a suitable place for camp."

"Sir, we still do need to set up camp, and if we go further it'll be to dark before we can."

_Instead of adding to it I decided my I-need-coffee-now glare would probably do a better job at convincing him. He nodded and motioned for us to start setting up camp._

"Teal'c, we scan the area. Carter and Daniel, you set up camp. We'll be back in 15."

_I looked at Sam. She'd looked pre-occupied for most of the trip. She glanced up from unpacking and gave me a lop-side grin._

"What's up Sam?"

"That obvious huh?"

"Well, unless you're blind and deaf, yes. That obvious."

"It's just...something doesn't sit right with me. I have a bad feeling about this. I mean, it can't be a good sign to forget he's coming over right..?"

_What the..?_

"Shouldn't I be unable to wait until he's here, instead of actually forgetting about it and then being annoyed at having to leave him a message at all?"

_Ah. The Pete issue. I tried to smile reassuringly. _

"Errr...Sam, it's probably just be some pre-wedding nerves. You have a lot on your mind, you know saving the galaxy and all, of course you're going to forget a few other important...things. I wouldn't worry about it to much. I'm sure he understands."

_In reality, I really didn't want to talk about it. I thought she was making a big mistake, along with everyone else. But it wasn't my place to tell her that. I should just be there for her along the way, bad and good. If she was really happy, which I highly doubted, then she definitely deserved as much. It just pained me to see what she was missing out on with Jack, and to see Jack miserable by her decision. But I wasn't going to stop being her friend...or semi-brother more like it, because of it. And I didn't want her distracted because of Pete during this mission. I just wanted to enjoy the old team being together, like it used to be. She looked up at me, and visibly relaxed a bit. She didn't however, look convinced. _

"Yeah...that must be it."

_I wasn't sure what else to say now. I wanted to make light of the situation, but that was more Jack's department. Luckily, right now he had impeccable timing._

"Lucy I'm hooome! What no dinner on the table?"

"I decided coffee was a priority over dinner Jack."

"You've got to be kidding me. So what _is_ for dinner now anyway: Mac and cheese that tastes like chicken or spaghetti that tastes like chicken?"

_Either he hadn't noticed the slightly tense atmosphere he walked into or was intentionally ignoring it. Either way, it helped, because Sam seemed to have momentarily forgotten what she was worrying about. Smiling at Jack's greeting and actually giggling at his stab at the 'fine' cuisine we brought with us, we all seemed to be falling into our old routines. Teal'c immediately had started helping Sam with the tents, and seeing as I was actually preparing something that had to pass for dinner, Jack had apparently decided he would be of no further use for either of the tasks, and plopped down by the fire. The rest of the evening seemed to go like it did in the old days. We talked mostly. Jack annoying me, still on about that tablet I broke. Teal'c throwing in a unexpected joke of his own on occasion. He was really getting the humor thing down pat, sometimes giving even Jack a run for his money. And Sam was thinking, probably about the device now. It really felt like a couple of years after starting to go through the gate, about right before that whole zay'tarc mess happened. Of course, back then we'd usually end up captured, turned into something, almost killed, actually killed and brought back. Actually...that part wasn't too different these days. How was it we always seemed to end up in trouble everywhere? Surely that wouldn't happen now though, this was as safe as any mission could possibly get._

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	5. Chapter 5: Canteen on the loose

**AN: On Daniel's 'famous last words' -as someone so correctly put it ;) -, I know it's a bit cheesy and cliché, but I just couldn't help myself. Sometimes you just -have- to add a serious cheesy cliché for the fun of it :D. At least I do, but my mind works in weird ways ;)  
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**Chapter 5 - Canteen on the loose : Jack's POV**

"Hey Daniel, how much longer untill that ruin?"

"I don't know Jack. For the tenth time. It shouldn't be long now."

"You said that an hour ago."

"Yes I did."

"What? No 'we'll really be there soon now'?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"No really, how much longer?"

"Jack, don't you have something else to do? Go annoy Teal'c or Sam."

"They ignore me."

"So that's what it takes?"

"That..- "

"O'Neill, I believe we have arrived."

"Really? _Excellent_! Carter, Daniel go play, Teal'c and I will secure the area and set up camp."

"_Finally."_

"And Daniel stop rolling your eyes at me! Carter no giggling!"

_The two days hiking to the ruins had gone really smooth, no obstacles along the way and the team...it was almost like the last 4 years never happened. It was good for all of us to relax on a regular mission for a change. Saving the galaxy was really gettin' old. Now, seeing as the area was quickly secured Teal'c and I had more important business to attend to._

"T. 20 bucks on 30 minutes."

"I would have to disagree O'Neill, I would place 20 of your dollars on 15 minutes."

"Yeah, well we'll see."

"O'Neill I think it would be wise for you to reconsider your bet."

"Yeah right, you do realize the 15 minutes are almost up right? And they're still happily playing around in that ruin over there."

"There is still time left, I strongly advise you to reconsider your bet, if you do not wish to lose."

"Look, T. It's Carter and Daniel for cryin' out loud. We'll need really strong coffee and probably use force to get them out of there. I'm tellin' you they won't report what they found for at lea-"

"Sir."

_Oh, no she wasn't. How did he know that? Usually they can't be dragged away from anything remotely uninteresting for normal people, and of course when I make a normally valid bet on it, he wins._

"Carter, what did you find?"

"This isn't the temple-"

"What! You're telling me we came out all this way for nothing?"

"Like I was saying, _Sir_, _this_ isn't the temple. But the building a little down the hill is. You can't see it from here or across the valley, it's surrounded by bushes and trees. We actually found it by accident because Daniel dropped his canteen which rolled downhill. This building was a sort of Inn or something for the pilgrims to rest at while visiting the temple, according to Daniel. The temple seems to be completely intact, and I've located the device. The entrance however is blocked; we can't get to it."

"Right...so where IS Daniel?"

_I glared at Teal'c. I still won half the bet if Daniel wasn't here. Meaning the bet would be off._

"He's coming right over, left to refill his canteen."

"Ah. Yeah. Well..it's to late to do anything now, we'll start working on that entrance first thing tomorrow morning."

"Sir?"

"Something else Carter?"

"You lost the bet didn't you."

"Oh for Cryin' out loud. Did you guys set that up or something?"

" No sir, of course not. We wouldn't do that."

_Yeah right. She was looking way to wide-eyed for that to be true, not to mention she was grinning at T. While Teal'c was looking very pleased with himself. The word 'smug' came to mind. Better settle the bet right away. While handing T his money Daniel decided to butt in. _

"Ah, How much did you bet for Jack?"

"_Daniel_, I hear you've been dropping things again. Better watch that, it might be something valuable next time, like you know, a tablet or something."

"_Sir_. I still needed to talk to you about the preliminary readings of the device. Of course I couldn't..-"

_As much as I hated the word sir, I kept amazing myself over the fact that she could make it sound like anything, a pet name, an order - like now-, a 'regular' sir, a 'we're in mortal danger' sir... _

"-...get to the device and take a closer look, but I did some energy readings. Sir, the energy readings are above the minimum level."

_Meaning it still works. Of course since it's ancient that only made sense. And that probably meant it was going to do something we didn't want it to and would cause us trouble; Because it's ancient. And it still works. Note to self: Don't forget the 'Don't touch strange buttons' -speech tomorrow morning. _

"And? Your point would be..?"

"Sir..-"

_...exasperated 'I know you know exactly what I mean' sir..._

"-...It means the device is still active. It can't be anything else other then active technology at that energy level. We'll have to be extra careful when we clear the entrance to the temple, we don't know what triggers it yet. But it also means we'll be able to use the technology if we figure out what it does exactly."

"Daniel, nothing on the walls to enlighten us on what it does?"

"Err...no. That's probably on the inside of the temple."

"Right. In that case, we'll take look tomorrow when we open it up. And _no_, we're not going to do that now, it's to late and we're all to tired. No exceptions! Tomorrow. So...what's for dinner?"

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	6. Chapter 6: Unidentified Foreign Objects

**AN: Thanks everyone for taking the time to review! So sweet of you guys (and girls) :) Here's a small chapter, since I desperately want the next thing to be someone else's POV, I couldn't make this one to long :)**

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**Chapter 6 - Unidentified _Foreign_ Objects: Tealc's POV**

"Sam can you see something?"

"Not yet, but I don't think there's a lot more left. The rocks are getting a bit more unstable. Teal'c can you move that big rock over there, I think that's the one keeping the rest stuck."

"Indeed Colonel Carter."

_We had been digging the entrance to the temple out all morning, with what seemed to be little progress. Finally it appeared we would be able to enter the temple's chambers soon. Removing the large rock Colonel Carter had requested, it seemed like she had been correct in her assessment it kept all the rocks held together. I noticed to late that Daniel Jackson attempted to remove a rock from the bottom of the pile, one that was carrying the weight of some of the others. As I moved to stop him the pile collapsed on top of his leg._

"Arrgh!"

"Oww that's gotta hurt."

"Thanks for _that_ _helpful_ insight Jack."

"Daniel! Are you alright?"

"I think I only hurt my leg, can you see what's wrong? I can't move."

"T. Can you pick up those rocks on top of his leg buddy? Carter, check his vitals just to be safe. Danny I hope for your sake nothing is broken, if Carter has to set it..."

"Very funny sir. He's alright, but his leg isn't. It looks like a bad cut and a sprained ankle. I can't say for sure of course, but I don't think it's broken."

_I noticed Colonel Carter glance at the now opened up entrance and to Daniel's leg, and realised she preferred studying the device now she could get to it. Having administered first aid to many injuries of Ta'uri during battle, I decided to give her the opportunity to go into the temple right away._

"Colonel Carter, let me attend to Daniel Jackson's injuries. They do not appear to be severe."

"Yeah...go. I'll be fine Sam, don't worry about it. Can you start making pictures of the writings, if there are any on the walls? If I can't walk or stand, I'll at least be able to do something."

"Sure Daniel. Sir?"

"T., Daniel? Will you be alright?"

"We will be fine O'Neill. I will make sure Daniel Jackson's wounds are tended to."

"Good, Carter need any help?"

"Actually sir, it's probably dark in there... so..."

"Say no more! I'll have the very important job of holding up the light while you...do your thing...and Carter, what did we say about giggling?"

_As I heard their voices grow low when they disappeared inside the temple, I supported Daniel Jackson and walked him over to the camp a little up the hill to attend to his wound. When the cut was cleaned and bandaged, I was about to ask Daniel Jackson if he could stand on his injured leg without support when we heard a loud rumble from deep under the temple. Daniel looked at me in shock and motioned for me to go look as he would not be able to follow fast enough. _

"Teal'c, go, I'll be fine, really. I'll follow as fast as I can."

_I nodded and as I ran down towards the temple the deep rumbling sound from within the temple stopped. I made my way down faster and noticed with relief that the entrance was still unblocked. Carefully, as to not press or disturb anything to repeat what happened, I made my way inside, when I noticed two bodies on the floor on each side of a statue in the middle of the room. I could not tell if they were alive or dead, but both laid motionless on the floor, looking pale and full cuts and bruises._

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**AN: A small cliff hanger here. I already have the next part almost ready, but it's not a proper cliff hanger without having...hung..for a while :P So...I'll be posting the other chapter tomorow ;)**


	7. Chapter 7: Chaos

**AN: I wish I could say I had intentionally made Teal'c think and talk a little less formal to portray the change he has undergone from being at the SGC for 8 years (and around Jack). I did however think of that, but more in a way of _blaming_ it on that then anything else ;P. I just don't write Teal'c well, he's a tough guy to write for me with the overly formal ways and all. Which is why I won't be using his POV very often. I however don't want to leave him out of the story completely either, or his POV that is. Also, didn't have anyone to spell check this chapter, so I'm truly sorry if there are some big errors in it. I'm dyslexic myself, and English isn't my main language either. So some phrases may come across a bit...weird if I used the wrong word or something, I hope that it's not to bad though.**  
**Also, I'm not sure how often I will be able to update as of now. But i'll try to keep it updated regularly :)****  
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**Chapter 7 - Chaos **

_I was starting to drift into a more conscious state, but long before I reached that point of total awareness I could feel the overwhelming sensation of pain flooding my mind. I forced myself to wake up completely, so I could see how severe the situation was. Groaning I tried to sit up, and failed miserably. The pain in my head was too much. _

"O'Neill, you should remain put for now until we can determine the severity of your injuries. Daniel Jackson, is Colonel Carter awake yet?"

"I think she's starting to come to, from the looks of it she's pretty battered up though."

"As is O'Neill."

_Jack? Oh thank god, he was awake too. Opening my eyes and expecting to see Daniel hovering over me checking my vitals and injuries, I grew confused as I saw Teal'c doing just that. Now more determined to sit up and get a better view of the situation and the state Jack was in, I literally yelped when my knees cracked when I tried getting up. _

"O'Neill, you must rest. It is not wise for you to stand up so soon."

_What the...I looked down at myself. No. No no no. NO. This couldn't be happening. This simply could NOT be happening. Groaning again by the effort of sitting back down I managed to get a quick look at... myself. Lying on the floor opposite the room, but as it was small it was still close by enough. There could be no mistake about it; I was literally looking at myself lying on the floor unconscious. With Daniel hanging over...me? No. Not me apparently. Jack. From the shock that followed the realization that we had apparently switched bodies, I blacked out, falling to the floor again._

"Jack...?"

"O'Neill. _O'Neill_ you must wake up."

"Ughh..Jack.."

"What? Jack, Jack wake up, come on! Sam seems to be in a pretty bad condition, you have to wake up. Jack!"

_Opening my eyes and taking in the worried looks on both Daniel and Teal'c I instantly knew it had to be a bad sight, and I highly doubted that...I..or my body... Jack? Was in any better condition then my actual body. Thinking that alone was starting to give me a worse headache. I realized they had to know, and forced myself to clear my mind and ignore the pain. From the way it felt, I probably had a couple of bruised ribs, a concussion, and some bad cuts and bruises, but I doubted it was anything more serious then that. I tried to speak, but my throat was to dry to actually make anything beyond some hoarse croaking sounds. Daniel quickly gave me his canteen, and after a few slow gulps I was starting to feel slightly better. Before I could say anything Daniel looked behind him again and tended to... I couldn't even finish that sentence in my thoughts._

"Teal'c..Daniel.., that's not me. I mean it's me, it's just not me. _Argh_ I mean.."

_O-k... explaining was going to be a little bit more confusing then I thought. By the worried looks they were exchanging they probably thought I'd either gone mad or had become a goauld or something alike. Actually...no...That Jack had gone mad or became infested. Taking a deep breath to relax myself and focus, I tried again. _

"This is me; Sam. I think...I think Jack's in my body. That whatever happened somehow switched us."

_Looking at their confused and worried glances between my body and well...me, I could tell they were having a difficult time believing it wasn't the blow to my head -Jack's head-, that made me talk nonsense. Daniel's expression slowly changed to something of a cross between recognition and something else I couldn't quite determine. Teal'c quickly seemed to have accepted the fact that he was now helping 'Sam' sit up and not 'Jack'. Just when I was about to ask Daniel how Jack was doing, something that sounded like a pain filled moan seemed to come out of 'the other me'. This was going to be so confusing._

"Owww..."

"Sir? Sir wake up! Are you all right...Sir?"

"Sam?"

_I was a bit startled by the use of my name. Especially when it was said with my own voice. Concern taking over quickly again, I forced myself once again to get up and move closer to him. _

"Sir?"

"Carter? Carter, what the hell happened?"

"Please tell me this is a particularly weird dream."

_I was momentarily at a loss for words, I knew it was quite a shock to take in the...change. But I just couldn't think of any way to make spelling it out that it really was happening a bit easier. Daniel however had no such problem. I quickly determined what the 'other' look had been when he had finally recognized it was me in Jack's body. Pure amusement. _

"Ahh good morning there, nice of you to finally join us. And no, sorry to burst your bubble, but this is no weird dream. You're _really_ in Sam's body, and she's _really_ in yours."

_I shot him a 'better hide behind Teal'c now' glare and at least he had the decency to turn his full out grin into a small smirk now. I started checking on Jack's wounds. On my body. God how weird. I was relieved to see he seemed to be no worse off then I was. A couple of painful but no real life threatening injuries. _

"Sir, can you sit up?"

"Carter..do you realize how weird it is for me to hear ME saying 'Sir'. To _myself_?"

"Well sir, probably about as weird as it is for me to hear myself calling _me_ 'Carter'"

"Ah..right. Again. What the hell happened?"

_I tried remembering what had happened. _

_- We had gone inside the temple, and immediately noticed that other then the statue in the middle of the small room, there didn't appear to be anything else. No entrances to other chambers, no writings or anything else on the walls. Just the one statue of a motherly looking woman holding out both hands as if to urge her children to take her hand. Except there were no children. She was dressed in what appeared to be a Greek or roman type of dress, had flowers in her hair and appeared to be pregnant. There had been some inscriptions at the bottom of the statue, but that looked like a name, not instructions. I remembered doing a few quick energy readings to try and determined where the energy from the device came from, and I couldn't pinpoint a specific location. It seemed to be all around us. I guessed the device was under the temple, and the statue was covering the way to it somehow. After a failed attempt to find any triggers or buttons to open the doorway up, we had simply tried moving the statue...- _

_I gasped as I realized that must've been it. We had each grabbed a side and arm of the statue with the intention to move it aside that way. That was when the deep rumbling sound had started from below the ground. I tried letting go of the statue, but seemed to be welded to it. It was like everything around me no longer existed. All I remembered after that is being thrown away from the statue and hitting the floor before everything had gone black._

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	8. Chapter 8: Alien lists

**AN: lol! Thanks for the compliment Sandy, but yeah I'm pretty sure English really isn't my first language ;) About the story: I've thought of a ton of -really- embarrassing things that could happen (and that I'm naturally going to make happen in the story :P). Also to BookWorm37, close but not exactly :) Gaea, or Gaia the Greek goddess is often represented pregnant in paintings and statues and whatnot. I just picked a random goddess really, and tried to represent her image a bit like it was (often) in Greek mythology (in my books anyway), although I -might- use the mythology for her a bit more in depth for the story at some point if at all possible.**

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**Chapter 8 - Alien lists: Jack's POV**

_My head was throbbing like a pack of Jaffa was marching through it. My back...my ribs...everything was aching. My throat was still dry, after having almost emptied my - or more technically, Sam's- canteen. I was still trying to wrap my head around what had happened, watching myself trying to remember what had happened. Or actually, I was watching Sam trying to remember. Even in my own body she seemed to have the ability to get this wide-eyed 'I know!' look of hers, when she thought of something important. Of course now things were becoming clearer to me too, I remembered exactly what had happened. And that really -really- made me want to smack my head against the nearest wall. You know, you'd think that after so long, we wouldn't be stupid enough to go touch weird statues in alien temples without at least -some- caution. Taking in her thoughtful expression I realized that Sam was probably feeling it was all her fault now she remembered what had happened, which -of course- it wasn't._

"Huh, somethin' else to add to the list."

"Huh?"

_I grinned; I knew I could distract her if I made some random comment. Trying to desperately forget the fact that we had switched bodies, and ignoring the feeling that I was talking to myself. I knew I had to distract her from going over and over what happened and the routine of blaming herself for it, before it became worse._

"Well, you know, the list."

"Of what list do you speak O'Neill?"

"_The_ list. The 'things to NOT do on alien planets' list. I believe we started with, don't drink alien drinks that smell funny. Followed by, don't accept cake from pretty aliens under any circumstances. NEVER -ever- touch buttons when you don't know 100 percent sure what they do. _That_ list."

_That earned me a lopsided grin. Huh. Me doing a lopsided grin looked...kinda odd. But at least she was now really distracted, that was good. _

"Never go to an uninhabited planet unarmed and with backup if at all possible?"

"See, now you're gettin' it. So this goes on the list to. Never touch strange statues in alien temples. Although really, we should've added that a long time ago, remember what happened on P6F-34-"

"_Sir._"

_I smirked. I knew that would take her mind off of things for a second. And still even in my own body she was able to make that 'sir' sound like anything other then a normal 'sir'. That was really...weird. _

"Yes...I think under the circumstances it's probably better to call me Jack...or Jacobia.."

"Jackie?"

"Thanks Danielle, for your helpful input."

"Hey, I'm not the one that's currently residing in a woman's body."

"And that woman would be ME Daniel!"

"Hey! I'm no woman! Even in a woman's body! Or- A... ah... woman in _my_ body- or...ack. You know what I mean."

"I was talking about my-"

"O'Neill! Colonel Carter! Even though your current predicament is... highly entertaining, should we not focus on the matter at hand; resolving this issue?"

_I shot a glare at Daniel who tried to suppress a snort by clearing his throat loudly. But I also realized Teal'c was right. Well not the 'entertaining' part of course, because this really couldn't be any more awkward. Like having once switched bodies with Teal'c and Daniel wasn't enough, being in the body of the woman...- Being in the body of your 2IC was just...weird...and wrong. On so many levels. It was time to get serious, this time for real. Taking a deep breath to calm down, I took in the environment. _

"Hey...by the way I feel run over by a truck I'd think the entire Temple would've collapsed. But it actually looks...like nothing happened. So...if nothing happened with the Temple, then what did happen with us? Daniel? Any ideas?"

"Err...no actually. Since there's no writings anywhere except on the bottom of the statue, I can't tell what it's really supposed to do, how it works, or if it's reversible. By the looks of the statue and the name on it I'd say that whoever put the statue here, Ancient or Goa'uld, was portraying Gaea. Mother of all living things, earth, gods etc. etc. But aside from the fact that it's very intriguing, it doesn't actually...help. So...no."

"So...no. Great. Carter what've you got?"

"Sir, I was unconscious most of the time we were in here."

"Right, I know that. So what's your theory."

"Why would you assume I have a theory if I've just been awake for, what 10 minutes?"

"Huh, not half an hour in Jack's body, and already starting to sound as grumpy as him."

_Ohh. I can really shoot evil glares, no wonder those new recruits turn around when they see me coming. Good thing Daniel was on the receiving__end this time._

"Ok, so before we blacked out we both touched the statue on one end each. Now seeing as the statue is holding out her hands for someone to take them, I would assume that it works a bit like the device Ma'chello made. Remember? I think he once said he based some of his technology on things he had come across that already existed. What if he based that switching device on this? If it is, all we'd have to do would be take different positions and switch again?"

"See, I knew you'd have a theo- Shutting up now."

_Yeah. Being on the receiving end of that glare was definitely no fun at all. _

"But that didn't work with Ma'chello's device Sam. We couldn't directly switch back. And besides, seeing as how you were both thrown away after it happened, and your current states, I'm not so sure it's a good idea to try it again immediately afterwards. What if it happens again, and one of you, or both get seriously injured this time?"

"Argh, he's right Carter. We can't risk it. Or at least not yet. So, now what?"

"Sir, really, I think the only reason the device shot us back was because of a malfunction. Or maybe because it has been so inactive for who knows how long, I doubt it-"

"Carter, we're _not_ going to risk it. I think the best would be to go back to the SGC, have another team get the device by going under the temple, this time through the floor or something so you can study it. And besides, couldn't we just use Ma'chello's thing to get back anyway?"

_I could visibly see Sam grow slowly red. What the..? Sam was starting to shift a little on her feet. _

"O-k. What's goin' on?"

"Err...sir? With all due respect, but I _really_ don't want to stay in your body any longer if we can change it now."

"Hey, I know it's a bit old and rusty, but it can't be _that_ bad can it? It's no less weird for me then it is for you. Besides you don't know for sure we can change back now."

_More shifting. Of course it was awkward, but it wasn't like we've never been in any awkward situations before. _

"Sir.."

_She was barely whispering now, I had to move closer to hear what she said._

"Sir..I really have to uhhh...I kinda.. And if we stayed like this any longer it would be just..."

"What? I really don't get what you're trying to say Carter. I mean, I know this will be a bit awkward...I still can't get used to talking to myself..."

_I noticed Daniel from the corner of my eye growing slightly red trying not to laugh. Even Teal'c looked a bit amused. What was so damned funny? At that moment Sam dragged me apart a little. She looked thoroughly embarrassed and couldn't even look me in the eye when she started talking again._

"_Sir_, I -really- have to _go_."

"Huh, you don't have to ask that, you do -..._Oh_. Ahh. I ahh...see your point."

_Ok...that certainly was embarrassing. Not that I have anything to be embarrassed about mind you. It's just -and I think I might be overusing the word by now- weird for your 2IC to...Taking in a deep breath -and absently wondering if that would mean I would find out where that mole was now, if we stayed like this longer- I closed my eyes for a second to let the military training kick in. Not that this was exactly covered in the training manual, because that certainly would make an interesting chapter. 'How to survive a bodyswitch without going nuts of embarrassment' or '10 ways to get over the awkwardness of having been trapped in your 2IC's insanely hot body'. I couldn't help but snigger at the thought of there being a manual on that. And then I remembered it was a -bad- time to be sniggering about anything. Glancing at the now indignant looking Sam/me in front of me, I quickly realized my mistake._

"Ack, I'm sorry Sam I was just...thinking we need to add a few things to the base's manuals sometime in the near future. Anyway. Look. We really can't risk using the statue again, if there's even a remote chance we'll be tossed around the room again. We don't even know _how_ it works. So, I know how incredibly embarrassing it will be for the both of us...especially since ahh..."

_No. Bad time to bring that up. Actually never would be a good time to bring -that- up, since it was unreciprocated. She wouldn't get engaged if...Would she? Nah. That was just wishful thinking on my part. I realized this probably wouldn't even be half as...painful and awkward if it had been a woman I barely knew. _

"Uhh...well anyway, just...do whatever. It's a 3-day travel back to the Stargate, and then we'll hopefully get this sorted out soon. But in the mean time, I think we'll both just have to try to relax a little about it, and for the moment try to ignore the awkwardness it'll bring, or we'll go nuts in the process."

_Feeling the need to make the situation a bit lighter on the both of us, I tried to remember what mini-me clone had said she'd told him when they still thought it was me. I gave her my best smirk and a nudge against the shoulder._

"Just try to enjoy it as much as possible."

_Ah, see that made her smile again, at least somewhat. Well and roll her eyes. My eyes. We were definitely going to have to work on the manuals at the SGC to cover strange things like this. Although, letting word get out this happened was probably not really a good idea either. Was it actually still an offence to roll your eyes at a superior officer if you were currently in his body? This whole thing was without a doubt going to give me some really bad headaches. As Sam/me quickly hurried off into the bushes I turned around to see Daniel leaning against a smirking Teal'c no longer trying to control his laughter. _

"You know, this really _isn't_ funny!"

"Ohhhh yes it is."

"Indeed."

"Say, _Jacoline_. You really do make for a convincing woman in behavior you know. The walk and..."

_Yeah...something else we needed to add to the manual. 'How not to kill your team mates in embarrassing situations'._

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	9. Chapter 9: Trees and Bubblebaths

**AN: ChappaEyebrow thank you for mentioning that (I would've contacted you otherwise, but I'm not sure how that works).  
Never mind what I previously wrote, thanks for those that helped me find the other story :) I will be continuing this story, but I might do it differently then I had planned (and possibly hinted at/ announced a little of) at first. For now though, I won't be updating until tomorrow or so at latest. And again thanks for all the nice reviews btw :D I'm glad ya'll are enjoying it. I'm surprised that I enjoy the writing far more then I thought lol. So who knows, maybe I'll be writing more fanfics sometime in the future ;)**

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Final update on the AN: I know I wrote I'd update soon, and the lack of update has nothing to do with the previous AN and everything. The author of the other story ('How the other half lives') was ok with it :) Just wanted to let you guys know it didn't have anything to do with that, I just got sick. So the next chapter will have to wait untill I'm better, which should be soon (why do people always get sick during the holidays?). Anyway still thanks for all the reviews and everyting :)

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**Chapter 9 - Trees and Bubblebaths: Sam's POV **

_After the 3-day hike back to the Stargate I was actually a bit over the initial awkwardness of being inside my CO's body. Of course, I kept stubbornly ignoring just that whenever I had to 'use the bushes'. Ignoring it made it a whole lot easier. Giving it a second thought was enough to embarrass me for a lifetime. And that whole first attempt had been...just messy, incredibly weird on so many levels and...intriguing actually. On a scientific level of course. But again. So not thinking about that now. At least sleeping went remarkably well now I didn't wake up every so often by the loud snoring that usually came from Jack. Since I was the one doing the snoring now, I slept right through it. A definite plus. Always look on the bright side and all that right? And thankfully, Daniel only teased Jack, not me. But I think that's because he knows the things I can do with his computer. Or him. And he also knows Jack wouldn't actually do anything he threatened him with. Teal'c however, after the first day, seemed to no longer feel the need to tease either of us in his subtle way. If anything I could've sworn he sometimes threw us a somewhat sorrowful look. Of course, with him knowing everything, he probably realized that this wasn't only awkward because of the male/female body switch, but more because of with whom we switched. That hadn't exactly crossed Daniel's mind yet though. But neither of us actually talked about it either -aside from the necessities-. Maybe he was to focused on finally being able to get back at Jack a little. Nearing the Stargate we grew quiet. And with we, I meant those of us that weren't Daniel._

"But really though, you should record this or something. You know? What it's like, it'll be very interesting for so many reasons, not just scientific ones. Like how you handle it, how you adapt, and the impact it ha-"

"Oh for Cryin' out loud, Daniel!"

"What? All I'm saying-"

"Yes, we ALL know what you're saying. Since we've been listening to it for the past...oh 3 hours!"

"Ok ok, no need to get your panties in a twist."

_I never knew I could look quite that annoyed. But then again, I never exactly had a mirror around, when McKay was in close proximity. Like on the base, or the same ship...city..._

"Daniel Jackson, I think now would be a wise time to remain quiet."

_I noticed him silently communicating with Teal'c for a few seconds, and visibly 'go' serious._

"Ok. But I do have a real question though. How are you going to handle it on base? I mean, are you going to inform the staff, or just look for the quickest way to fix it and hope nobody will notice? It might confuse a lot of people if this takes a while."

_I hadn't thought about that. It would be really confusing for people to see me in my current state working on technology and Jack, in my body, in his office handing out orders and whatnot._

"I suppose we try to fix it first, and if we find out it'll take longer then we anticipated, we make an official announcement or something?"

_As soon as I said it I realized I had practically given an unofficial order. I made a decision that clearly wasn't mine to make. I hesitantly looked over at Jack, but saw he looked amused, not angry._

"Even though you're in my body now Colonel, I do believe I still hold the higher rank. Despite what it currently says on my-...the uniform I'm wearing."

_Noticing the twinkle in his eye I knew it hadn't mattered and he was up for joking around a bit._

"Sorry sir...Although I'm not so sure about that. I could always claim you've gone mental and that I'm really you. With the hours I make, I'm pretty sure people will believe it. Besides...-"

_Insert his shit-eating grin # 1_

"I have Daniel and Teal'c to back me up."

"Now how do you know they're on your side, and not mine. T. buddy? You're on my side right? And Daniel, after what you've done the past 3-"

"Yeah...sorry Jack, but no. I would be on _Sam_'s side."

"It is indeed unfortunate General O'Neill, that Colonel Carter has become...overworked and appears to have - as you put it- 'lost her marbles'."

"T? Seriously, T. You can't be serious right? Tell me you're joking..."

_By now Daniel was laughing out loud again, and Teal'c was obviously very pleased with himself. I could tell Jack wasn't actually offended, he seemed to be having his fun with it too. Probably glad Daniel had stopped annoying him. By now we had reached the gate though, and it was time to go home. I had a sudden feeling like this wouldn't be over as quickly as we had hoped. And we'd be in a whole lot more trouble when we got back. I immediately sobered up at that thought and started dialing the gate. What if we would be stuck like this? A bad feeling came over me. I sighed deeply and mentally reprimanded myself. I would figure it out. I always did. No matter how long it took, because I couldn't stay like...I just couldn't. The wormhole established and instead of going through immediately I looked over at the others. They'd all quieted down and stood staring at the Stargate for a minute._

"Look, let's just get this over with. Since we don't know how long this will take I'll send out a notification right away, because this just could create too much confusion in a short time. It'll be difficult for a while, but I can always make anyone that causes trouble scrub the toilets with his or her toothbrush. And what's one or two more days right? Besides I have a reputation to worry about, I don't even want to think about what others will think to see me in a lab. _Working_."

"It would be more likely harmful to Colonel Carters reputation if others see her with your handheld computer game, or amusing herself with a Yo-yo O'Neill."

"Hey! Now that's not fair..."

"At least it won't be awkward for _us_ Teal'c."

"Indeed."

"You know, next mission I want it to be a planet with pearly white sandy beaches, beautiful blue oceans, a great big fishing pond-"

"With or without fish Jack?"

"Without fish of course. And not too many trees. Aside from the obvious, that's what I hate about this planet. To many damned trees. And of the couple of days we've been here it rained half of them. So no rain. Nice sunny weather would be good..."

_Grinning a little more confident now I walked up to the Stargate and stepped through, the others following soon after. Jack had already said we would debrief first, getting that out of the way. He was right, others had to know. Unfortunately. I could almost see the smug smiles on the marines if they found out. When we stepped out on the other side, we were still talking like nothing happened, making me momentarily forget our 'situation'._

"Oh man, I can't wait to take a nice hot bubble bath, give myself a manicure and settle down with a good book."

_Now suddenly fully aware of the strange looks I was getting, including a somewhat surprised glare from 'Jack', I quickly realized my mistake. The guard who had greeted us and was about to accept my P90 looked at me a bit scared and confused. But not without obvious amusement either. I tried to say something, but he beat me to it._

"Sir...I didn't know you read books?"

_This set of Daniel laughing again, this time joined by a few grinning guards in the gateroom. 'Jack' let out a fake-indignant sounding 'Hey!'. And I hurried myself to give a quick explanation of the situation. Probably beet-red by now too. After everyone -Daniel mostly- had calmed down, Jack turned serious again._

"Ok, Campers, time to go. Better get this fixed. Ladies first..."

_He gestured at the stairs up to the briefing room when he said that and then continued to walk up immediately after. Of course._

* * *


End file.
